This Christmas, you can’t control difficult people, but you can choose to love them with grace. Let compassion guide your responses and reflect the love Christ first showed you.
A woman once told me about her “Christmas Crank,”
This was her word for the relative who could turn a perfectly peaceful evening into a hostile takeover of passive-aggressive comments, insensitive observations, and loud outbursts.
For years, my friend dreaded the holidays because of this relative. She couldn’t box them out of family events. She couldn’t blow up at them.
So, one year, she decided to make a change.
She prayed before walking into the gathering. Not for her Christmas Crank to change, but for her heart to change.
For grace.
For patience.
For compassion.
For eyes to see the person behind the behavior.
And as the evening unfolded, she noticed something she had never seen before…
The snappy remarks came from a place of insecurity.
The interruptions came from a fear of being unseen.
The criticism came from a heart that had never learned how to feel safe.
She told me, “It hit me; hurting people don’t need harsher boundaries. They need deeper compassion.”
Christmas isn’t just about peace on earth.
It’s about peace within you, poured out toward others.
Some people are difficult to love.
But Jesus never told us to only love the easy ones.
In fact, He stepped straight into messy tables, broken homes, and complicated people; the same way He steps into yours.
That’s why He said in John 13:34: “Love one another as I have loved you.”
Not as they deserve.
Not as they behave.
Not as they reciprocate.
As He loved you.
Which means…
Love them with patience.
Love them with gentleness.
Love them with boundaries that honor peace AND compassion.
Love them by not taking every comment personally.
Love them by refusing to match their energy and choosing a higher one instead.
This Christmas, you may sit across from someone who tests your patience.
Someone who hasn’t healed.
Someone who doesn’t know how to communicate well.
Someone who triggers old wounds.
But here’s your opportunity:
To love as Jesus loved.
To extend compassion instead of conflict.
To bring peace into the room, not absorb the chaos from it.
To remember: they’re not your enemy; they’re someone God also longs to heal.
And who knows…
Your grace might be the first glimpse of Jesus they see all year.
So when you walk into your family gathering, take this with you:
You can love difficult people well because Christ loved you first.
